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HAPPINESS

Happiness

HAPPINESS

 HAPPINESS is only a positive thought to have it come to you.

 

“Research has shown you have control over your happiness,” explains Dr Stacy Blackburn, Mayo Clinic Health System family physician. “It all relates back to your personality and also your thoughts and behaviours which can be changed.”

 

Normally, people with a lot of money or/and fame is just as happy as everyone; being rich and famous is not the only key to happiness.

This is great news for many, because there are ways to live a happier life that don’t reflect your income or appearance.

 

Choose optimism

You have full control over your optimism so use it to maintain your positive perspective and divert your negative to the positive. It can be easy for negative thoughts to take over, but they don’t have to.

To divert from the negative, Dr. Blackburn recommends to first acknowledge them and then question:

 

Invest in relationships

Relationships are an important part of being happy. Can you think of a friend can can always make you laugh?

Dr Blackburn says that relationships are the most powerful connections to bring the most meaning in your life, so surround yourself with the right (positive, happy) people.

While it can be easy to take family and friends for granted, they’re typically the people who are there through good and bad times.

It is important to interact with proper words and actions in your relationships. Relationship work both ways, so you have to give happiness to receive.

 

Find your purpose

People who strive to meet a goal or fulfill a mission are happier than those who don’t have such aspirations.

Goals is a good way to establish relationships because the team element helps motivate and as it has a purpose it can drive to having a cherished life. How the goal is is not the case but what the outcome of the goal is is the target.

“Aligning everyday activities with the long-term meaning can purpose of your life can help you feel more content.” says Dr Blackburn. “Some people are engaged in activities they love, while others aren’t.”

If you’re searching for you purpose, ask yourself these questions:

 

Live in the moment

“Don’t wait for joy to come on a day when you’re less busy or stressed, because that day may never come,” says Dr Blackburn.

“Look for opportunities throughout your day to enjoy the small pleasures in life. Focus your energy on the positives of the present instead of dwelling on the past or worry about the future.” Mayo Clinic News Network/Tribune News Service

 

Practice

There are chances of failures so practice (control your thoughts and actions) to attain happiness is the key. As you practice, it becomes a natural habit.


From a story by French author Antoine de Saint Exupéry’s book, The Little Prince, where he recalls time when, as a child, he had aspirations to be an artist.

He tested his talents by showing his masterpiece to adults and asking if it scared them. The adults were baffled at how a picture of a hat can be frightening. Annoyed, he redrew the picture from scratch and explained that the image was of a boa constrictor digesting an elephant; not at all a hat:

Learnt Lessons

Based on the image, here a quote from the book:
“Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.”
The point that author Antoine tried to show is that children view the world very differently from grown-ups. They seem to always able to seek out the best of situations.

One experience to contemplate is a visit to a retirement home with children.

Normally, it would have been just cleaning and repairing the necessaries. However, with the inclusion of the youth, they suggested to have a Christmas party for the residents. This made the latter feel young again and that made a critical positive impact. Their priceless smile and joy could not have been done if it were only the clean and repair.

Another quote from the book to consider:
“All grown-ups were once children, but only few of them remember it.”
Adults often think that they are responsible to mentor the young. As true as that may be, like for budgeting and planning cases, the children are there to divert them back to their human self like teasing and chasing after each other. As long as adults are open, grown-ups will never be disappointed.

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”


phobias
Photophobia Fear of light
Hydrophobia Fear of water
Claustrophobia Fear of confined spaces
Agorophobia Fear of open spaces
Arachnaphobia Fear of spiders
Telefonophobia Fear of telephones
Bibliophobia Fear of books
Ailurophobia Fear of cats
Acrophobia Fear of heights
Noctiphobia Fear of night
Categelophobia Fear of ridicule
Opthalmophobia Fear of being stared at
Xenophobia Fear of foreigners
Triskaidekaphobia Fear of the number 13
Ergophobia Fear of work
Linonophobia Fear of string

Engaging Pupils On Another Level WAS part of a conversation among a few high school teachers a few weeks ago. There were murmurs of admiration from the other teachers. Miss Kai took pride in what she termed “classroom management skills” and was indeed well known for her absolute pin-drop silent classes whenever she was teaching.

“How I wish I had some of your ability, Miss Kai,” said another younger teacher in the group almost wistfully with a hint of defeat in her voice.
“It is so difficult to control the class whenever I teach them English. They make so much noise, talking all at once. And language activities are a nightmare. They start shouting at the top of their voices and are all over the classroom. I feel so embarrassed about what the teacher in the classroom next to mine must be thinking.”

Different perspective

In a strange way what the second teacher said reminded me of an experience many years ago. I hadn’t been really keen on the idea at first but as usual my friend Dilla managed to persuade me to go with her to watch a newly released popular movie. Everybody she knew had seen it and if I didn’t she assured me that I would regret it for the rest of my life.
Watching it at home on TV, no matter how big the screen, was not the same, she said, “No, no, no. It’s all about the experience of watching it in a theater.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but she shushed me saying we were already late and if I wanted to watch the movie we had better leave.

We arrived at the rather run-down theater and Dilla rushed in to get the tickets.
“Last two tickets,” she said, emerging rather ruffled from the long queue in front of the ticket booth. I was a little surprised at that because the movie had been screening for three weeks and I reasoned that anybody who had wanted to watch it would have watched it by now.
“Is that a cockroach,” I asked feeling something scuttling past the floor as I lowered myself into the sad, sinking seat. “Quiet,” said Dilla, “No talking in the ‘cinema.”
Before long all the seats were full, the movie was about to begin and my earlier guess proved right.
Almost everybody at the cinema except for me and Dilla had watched the movie before. The whole row in front of us was engaged in a loud, running commentary and recounts of their favorite parts throughout the movie. A hearty argument about the best actor, broke out midway between the family sitting on my right and the couple in front of them. I thought things would get better once the movie started but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
The back-row boys who had obviously seen it enough times to memorize the entire script took great pleasure in mouthing out every line before the actors did. Scattered all over the cinema hall were exclamations and loudly expressed opinions at almost every point.
During a climactic scene some of the audience issued loud cries of warning to the hero on the screen who was in danger of being harmed. “look out, he’s got a gun.”
When the heroine was being sweet talked to by her two-timing boyfriend, offers of advice poured in from the concerned audience. “Don’t trust him,- yelled a middle-aged woman from the third row. “He’s leading you on.”

Immersive experience

The audience in the cinema was totally engaged, totally riveted and completely absorbed as if what was happening on the screen was a part of their own life. They cheered loudly for the hero, booed the villain and murmured loud sympathetic responses for characters who were having a tough time. When the song sequences started, most of them sang along and several groups got up to dance.
When the movie finally ended, I wasn’t sure how I felt. Although the behavior of the audience was to a large extent disruptive and generally undesirable in a theater setting, looking back, I could understand their responses based on the level of engagement they felt with the story.

 

How much of behavior that is perceived as “disruptive” in our  classes is really “disruptive’ and how much of it is considered engagement?
No teacher wants her class to be disorderly with pupils running all over, but is a classroom full of passive “well-managed attentive students” like the one that Miss Kai described, the one we should aim for? And how do we assess their level of attentiveness or engagement in the first place? Why do our pupils “switch off” during one teacher’s lesson and “switch on” for the next?
Perhaps our classroom teaching and learning experiences need to be more like the feeling some people get when they are watching a movie – the feeling that they are part of the lesson, part of the
learning, the experience and the life it belongs to. Perhaps our lessons should aim to be so powerful that some part of our pupils could feel like dancing to it. Perhaps someday they will.

Bullying in healthcare inevitably leads to a dysfunctional work environment, medical errors and preventable adverse outcomes, with patients suffering ultimately.

Bullying occur in healthcare organizations globally. In an analysis of 24 countries, prevalence rates of 11-18% were reported.
THE report on bullying of junior doctors last month embarrassed, at best, and at worst, shamed the medical profession. The factors associated with bullying were “younger age group, shorter length of service, shifting work, non-managerial position and designation as a doctor”

 

Defining Bullying

There are various terms used, often indiscriminately, but they are different.
Bullying has to be distinguished from admonishments when there are mistakes or errors in healthcare delivery that affect patient safety and quality of care.
The World Medical Association states: “Bullying is behavior that is repeated over time or occurs as part of a pattern of behavior, rather than a single episode.
“‘Unreasonable behavior is what a reasonable person in the same circumstances would see as unreasonable.
“It includes behavior that intimidates, offends, victimizes, threatens, degrades, insults or humiliates. Bullying can take psychological, social and physical forms.
“Harassment is unwanted, unwelcome or uninvited behavior that makes a person feel humiliated, intimidated or offended.
“Harassment can be related to a person’s ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, disability or other factors such as whether a person has made a complaint.”

Bullying may be by an individual against an individual or groups of individuals.
It may be obvious or insidious, and takes one or more of these forms: verbal abuse; threatening, intimidating or humiliating behaviors (including non-verbal); and work interference, which prevents work from getting done (Workplace Bullying Institute).

Consequences of Bullying

The links between bullying, patient safety and quality of care are universally recognized. Effective teamwork and communication, and a collaborative work environment are critical to quality healthcare.
Bullying is associated with disruptive and corrosive behaviors that inevitably lead to a dysfunctional work environment, medical errors and preventable adverse outcomes with patients suffering ultimately.
According to the Royal College of Surgeons of Edinburgh, healthcare professionals have attributed disruptive behavior in the perioperative area alone to 67% of adverse events, 71% of medical errors and 27% of perioperative deaths.
The effect of bullying on a healthcare facility include lower morale and productivity, increased absenteeism, rapid and increased staff turnover, which compromises patient safety, and a negative impact on the facility’s reputation.
It also exposes the facility to litigation by its staff and actions in negligence by patients.
The estimated annual cost of bullying to organizations in the United Kingdom was 4:13.75bi1 (RM71.86bil).
Employers have a legal duty to ensure the health, safety and welfare of their employees. The underlying principle has to be zero tolerance for bullying.

 

According to Clare Marx, past president of the Royal College of Surgeons of England, the bullying culture in the UK National Health Service starts at the top.
She said: “I think attitudes and behaviours in healthcare come from the top. We all hear about bullying cultures. Fm ashamed to say that I don’t know a chief executive who isn’t bullied from the top. and I think that is passed down.” (BMJ 2017)

Is the local situation different, and if so, how different? Unfortunately, the deafening silence leads to negative perceptions. A compassionate leadership is critical for building a culture of improvement and empowering staff to raise concerns.

 

The statement by Martin Bromiley, Chair of the Clinical Human Factors Group, is relevant for leaders at all levels:
“Think about this: Am I creating the right conditions for people to speak up to me? Am I reacting to people in a way that tells them I want to hear what they have to say?’ Remember it’s what’s right – not who’s right – that counts.
“By all means be decisive – be a leader, push and challenge those around you – but make sure you listen and acknowledge people. and NEVER frighten or devalue those around you.
“You’ll have already lost the respect of those same people. and your situational ‘awareness will never be complete again.”

 

That there is a trust deficit between junior doctors, and their seniors and employer, is reflected in the media disclosure of bullying.
An independent, accountable and fair system is required to address bullying of junior doctors, nurses and other healthcare professions.
There are good global practices that have reduced the prevalence of bullying in health-care organizations.
It is useful to learn from the UK General Medical Council who, following a review of bullying and undermining in medical education and training in 2014, reported that the key factors contributing to positive work-place behavior and a supportive training environment were valuing doctors in training; departmental cohesion and leadership: workload and stress for doctors in training and consultants; communication with doc-tors in training and recognizing undermining and bullying; and the need for effective senior leadership.

After 60, what remains?

I HAVE been 60 for two years now, and feel blessed to still be around. Given the madness and mayhem of modern day living, there are many who do not make it to 60.

My own mother died of a heart attack when she was 54. I lost a close friend to cancer and she was only 51. A favorite uncle died at age 50 of cancer. Sooner or later we will all meet this eventuality that underscores the brevity of life.

And so it was that when I was 57, I felt a compulsion to write my own epitaph:

“Here lies Mary, sweet and still,
“Dreams and wishes all fulfilled;
“Just like her to go in style,
“Never wasted a moment’s while;
“She lived just as she believed,
“Joy and mirth in each day lived.”

Simplicity being the theme in my life, I crafted my epitaph to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. With the help of technology, the tune will be played softly when someone stands within 2m of my tombstone. So as the visitor reads the poem, there is automatic music accompaniment!
I do not feel the least morbid about writing this, as an examined death is as important as an examined life. It is good to have an irreverent sense of humor towards death; to have the courage to look it in the eye, and recognize it as an intrinsic part of human experience.

Ironically, it is when we talk about death, therein lies the richness of life. It is when we realize the fragility and vulnerability of being human, particularly in the 21st century, that we appreciate life more.

My husband has managed his colorectal cancer most brilliantly just by having faith and hope that things will get better. For one who has overcome the dual onslaughts of radiotherapy and chemotherapy, he looks cheerful and positive.

Cancer is debilitating, financially draining, energy-sapping and has the force to shake up one’s routine and plans. That’s what it can do. But what it cannot do is weaken one’s will to live or remove the joy of living. With his cancer now stable and with a promising prognosis, he has resolved to cherish every moment of family time together.


No one tells you that after 60, dizzying changes and challenges will come unbidden. Words that creep into the senior’s conversation include macular degeneration, cataracts, cholesterol, diabetes, colonoscopy and angiogram. Acronyms such as MRI, HDL, AMD and BMI become common. It has also become normal practice to Google for further information on whatever discomfort or disease one is battling. In other words, we become more aware of our own mortality as the years add up.

However healthy you are at mid-life, there comes a time when you realize that age has caught up with you. You catch sight of a time-ravaged face in the fitting-room mirror and you notice other unforgiving signs-of-the-times as well, in that unforgiving three-panelled mirror. It is an age epiphany moment when you find it hard to recall names, and words become elusive in a conversation.

I do not contrive to reach the age of 62 without acknowledging that Higher Hands are leading me. My youth is gone and I cannot keep up with the relentless march of time. And now, I am more than halfway through my time on Earth, and each birthday marks a new bonus of time. No maternal dean’s list for me; no monument marks my existence; and definitely there are no roads named after me.

There is no blueprint on how one should live one’s life, simply because life itself is capricious, ever-changing and unyielding. In my own simplistic way, I think that loving someone every day, getting some love in return, fostering honest friendships, being generous and kind; will get you through the day.

With six decades of life behind me, I believe that having personal integrity and staying true to oneself, pulling off one’s mask, is the key to living a meaningful life. So much of who I am, my actions, my decisions, and my choices, are guided by this touchstone in life. I feel that there are moments in time when people need to be open and bare their soul. This appears to be one.